You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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