I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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