I cockslap morals
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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