I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
my liver is dry heaving
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
