I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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