Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
