In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
