8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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