Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize