i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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