You just made me feel so damn special
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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