Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize