Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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