Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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