you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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