you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize