She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
