does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm at about main and main street
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
