Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
