Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
