Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
