its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
