why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I pour the whiskey from now on
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
