LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
