I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
