wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Send help, water and tortillas.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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