i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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