haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
now i know why i became what i already was.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have tasted many bathrooms
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize