are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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