Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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