people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
