Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
