Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
