Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
