Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
