Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
