remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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