:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
