just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
