Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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