Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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