I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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