Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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