Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
