i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
