Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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