I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
