all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
