i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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