Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
