The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
