am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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