There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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