she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
