doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
