she looked like the before picture.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize