just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
